Abandoned

Waking early, I slip out the back door. Invisibility is my goal.  I never steal too much, only enough.

Receiving a good price for my trinkets, I return to the abandoned house.  Mom’s smile turns to a frown as she struggles to sit.  From my backpack, I retrieve the medicine I bought with the money I made and watch as she swallows.

She’s not been the same since my dad left.

There is no time to dwell on the past, the now is about survival.

Before I sleep, I cry out into the unknown,

“Please give her one more day.”

~~

“Friday Fictioneers” is a weekly challenge by Rochelle Wisoff Fields.  The challenge is to write a story using only 100 words in response to a photo prompt.  The photo was taken by Sandra Crook.  It has been a lot of fun to join in with this fantastic and encouraging group of writers!  Other stories can be found here.

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33 Comments Add yours

  1. draliman says:

    Very sad, such a tragic situation. Not only effectively homeless but ill too. I liked “I never steal too much, only enough”, it gives us an insight into your protagonist’s personality.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for commenting. This character is one that I am in the middle of developing. She is desperate to care for her mother and to survive herself. I often wonder what I would do if given these types of life situations. Life is complicated for many. Have a nice day! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Moon says:

    So much story in so few words!
    Your protagonist’s dedication to keeping her ailing mother alive, just for one more day is admirable. I really feel for her. I wish for a miracle for her.
    Beautifully written, Brenda.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Moon, for your comments. She is a character that I have thought a lot about. She is somewhat based on a little girl I dearly cared for during my stay in India. Life can be severely complicated for many. Thanks again and have a nice day! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. neilmacdon says:

    That’s poignant writing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement! =) I think I say that a lot, but I truly feel happy when I receive encouraging words about these short stories that I write. Take care!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I sense her desperation. Not all theft is wicked.

    Click to read my FriFic!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For sure, life is not so simple for many and when it comes to survival, I don’t know what I would do myself if desperate. Thanks for your comment! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sad, but so well described. I think this sort of thing can happen to real people!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

    1. For sure, Susan. Life can be very difficult and not so simple for many people. Thank you for reading this story and for your encouraging words. Take care!

      Like

  6. Iain Kelly says:

    A touching plea we can all relate too. Life can be harsh sometimes. Well written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is for sure, life can be difficult for all of us. For many, it can be horribly harsh. I don’t know what I would do in order to survive and care for those I love if put into certain situations. Thank you for your encouragement, Iain. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  7. pennygadd51 says:

    ‘Life, one day at a time.’
    I love the way you tell this story; it’s beautifully crafted. You give us the significant details that both provide the narrative, and describe the characters and their circumstances. The whole piece builds well to that heartfelt last cry.
    Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Penny. Your comments are helpful for future writing and encouraging!! =) Have a nice day!

      Like

  8. Dale says:

    This was beautifully written. Not a thief at heart, just by necessity. Harsh reality for way too many.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For sure, Dale. She must do what she must to survive and care for her mother. This character is loosely based on a little girl I cared for in India and I am in the process of writing a larger piece about her. I often wonder what I would do in certain situations to survive and care for my loved ones? Take care! =)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale says:

        I sure felt that, Brenda.
        Looking forward to reading the larger piece!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Dear Brenda,

    Such a tragic tail. I could feel the daughter’s desperation. A heart breaker well written.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Rochelle, for your words of encouragment. She has no choice but to do what she must to survive and care for her mother. Hope you have a lovely week! =)

      Like

  10. Sandra says:

    Sensitively portrayed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for commenting!! =)

      Like

  11. landofimages says:

    So sand and so well written i could feel it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for your kind words! =)

      Like

  12. Kwadwo says:

    It’s amazing the things we do for love… to keep those we love alive.
    Well crafted story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I often wonder what I would do to survive and care for those I love! Thank you so much for your kind words, I’m glad you enjoyed the story. =)

      Like

  13. Akshata Ram says:

    The pain and helplessness of the protagonist can be felt so deeply. Well done Brenda

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you felt her desperation. Thank you so much for your kind words! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Sometimes it’s hard to blame the thief… we just have to know the purpose… such things should not happen, and a boy should not have to grow up like this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For sure, I know that is the case for me. I’ve not come face to face with these types of decisions in order to survive. But, there are those who have and do face these situations worldwide. There are many, especially young ones, whose lives are lived in a vulnerable, desperate state. Anyway, sorry for the rant and thank you for commenting!

      Like

  15. amiewrites74 says:

    Her desperation is so palpable. You’ve packed so much into these few words and given this character much dimension. Nice!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, that’s very encouraging! Have a nice weekend. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Dahlia says:

    Unfortunately a reality for many – you nicely bring out her conflict, helplessness and anguish

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, sadly this is the case worldwide. Thank you for reading the story and for your comments. =)

      Liked by 1 person

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