Visitors wander through the museum. I weave amongst them barely noticed. Only my breath against their skin. The others emerge from the deep shadows. We watch as Eden enters through the main door with a girl hanging on his arm. As we used to be, she is naïve. Eden brings all his victims here before sending them on.
The mist that appeared earlier in the day swirls around the statue Eden and his companion are admiring. It disappears and the statue moves. Eden drops to the floor clutching his chest. We eagerly wait until he stands amongst us.
~~
“Friday Fictioneers” is a weekly challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff Fields. The challenge is to write a story using only 100 words in response to a photo prompt. This week’s photo was taken by Roger Bultot. It has been a lot of fun to join in with this fantastic and encouraging group of writers! For more stories, click here.
Great atmosphere
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Thanks so much, Neil! 🙂
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I guess Eden’s past victims have had their revenge? And now they’re going to rip him to shreds.
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Yep, his time has come. 🙂
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Revenge served cold.
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They’ve waited patiently for this day! 🙂
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Guess he was planning on one victim too many…
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He got greedy, but they knew he would. I’ve written very little in the scary, ghostly realm but it was quite fun. 🙂
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Good for you
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You managed to create a ghostly atmosphere and whole backstory of Eden and his victims. Beautifully done!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks so much for your encouraging comments, Susan! It was fun to try something a bit different. 🙂
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So much detail. Great job.
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Thanks so much, Lisa! 🙂
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Brilliantly written – I almost felt I was there!
Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings!
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I’m so glad, thank you for your encouragement! =)
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I love a good come-uppance. 🙂
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For sure, so do I! =)
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You’ve created an excellent atmosphere in this piece. I particularly liked “Only my breath against their skin.” Woo! I had shivers down my spine at the thought! The statue coming alive awoke echoes of Mozart’s ‘Don Giovanni’ for me, where Don Giovanni is dragged down to hell in one of the most terrifying of all opera scenes.
Great story!
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Wow, thank you so much, Penny. I enjoyed giving it a go, writing a scary piece. I’ll have to try it again. =)
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Yes, go for it!
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Revenge is sweet and they saved his last victim at the same time. Nice.
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Thanks for commenting! Saving the last victim was an added bonus. =)
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The last line is powerful. His time has come. Wonderful imagination.
https://trailbrooklane.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-statue.html
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Thank you so much! I tried to build the drama. He certainly deserved it. =)
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Uh OH! Wonder who his next victim is!! Great story!
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It’s so nice that she has been spared! =)
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Very intriguing – you create great atmosphere 😁
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Thank you so much, Anna! =)
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Dear Brenda,
Eden’s apparently met his match. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle. He certainly has. =)
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Ah, finally! I don’t think he’s going to like being among his victims 🙂
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I don’t think so either! =)
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I wonder who the others were… other women scorned?
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They were, unfortunately, his other victims, gathering together as he crossed over. Time for justice. =)
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Only my breath against their skin – lovely phrase. A very intriguing story, Brenda.
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Thank you so much, Jilly, and for letting me know the phrase you enjoyed. =)
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Well done for dipping your toes in the water of scary-stories for the first time. The breath against their skin is a delightful touch as well as “others emerge from the deep shadows.” I just watched “Ghost” again and your others remind me of the ghosts toward the end of the movie.
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I’m sorry for the delay in responding. Thank you so much, Alicia. I’m very happy you enjoyed the story. It was a lot of fun telling it. Now I want to watch “Ghost” again! =)
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Excellent use of the prompt. Spooking, haunting tension all in 100 words!
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Thank you, Jan, for your encouraging words! 100 words is certainly a challenge. =)
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