Banished

Ralph laughed.  “They locked you away because they think you’re crazy.”

Abigail shuddered.  Cynthia skipped across the dayroom and embraced her.  An attendant in white stood watching.  She whispered in Abigail’s ear.

“Don’t let him hurt you.  You don’t deserve it.”

Abigail glanced to the side but Ralph was gone.

Had Cynthia seen him?!

No one believed Abigail.  They thought her bruises self-caused.

Several nights later, she lay inside her locked room. Ralph appeared over her with his hand raised.

She cried, “Cynthia’s right.  I don’t deserve it.  I know that now!”

With one final snarl, Ralph dissolved into oblivion.

~~

“Friday Fictioneers” is a weekly challenge hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff Fields.  The challenge is to write a story, using only 100 words, in response to a photo prompt.  This week’s photo was provided by J. Hardy Carroll.  It’s a lot of fun to join this fantastic and encouraging group of writers!  If you would like to read other stories, visit HERE.

 

68 Comments Add yours

  1. neilmacdon says:

    Sometimes, all it takes are the right words

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s very true, Neil. Thanks for commenting! =)

      Like

  2. Powerful story! I had to read it twice to understand what was happening to her and that Ralph was indeed a symptom she was able to banish herself.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Susan. I hope it wasn’t confusing but am so glad you enjoyed it.

      Like

  3. pennygadd51 says:

    That’s an excellent story, Brenda. Medication and behavioural therapy can help a wounded mind, but ultimately the mind must heal itself. Cynthia’s imaginative and empathetic intervention gave Abigail validation to banish her ‘demon’. You described the process so very well, and in fewer than 100 words – that’s a fabulous achievement!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Penny. I really appreciate your comments. They are high praise indeed.

      Like

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    One demon banished, but I wonder what other one’s remain. Well told.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very intuitive. There are indeed others. Thank you for commenting, Iain. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dale says:

    Oh wow, Brenda! Hopefully, this is the first step towards her release…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Dale, for reading and commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. When Rabbit Howls sprang to mind here………… good story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I almost called the piece “Split” but that title was taken by a movie (haha). I looked up When Rabbit Howls and it certainly is amazing what the mind will do in order to protect itself. Thank you so much for commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome Brenda.

        Like

  7. michael1148humphris says:

    A potent story, full of images and feeling, l thought that it was great

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Michael. I appreciate your kind cocmments.

      Like

  8. The power of the spoken word!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true! Thank you so much for commenting.

      Like

  9. You’re very good at what you do Brenda.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Carolyn. That means a lot! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Abhijit Ray says:

    Nicely told difficulties faced by a person suffering from psychological problem.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. draliman says:

    A whispered word from another patient and she banishes her demons, or at least one of them. Good depiction of mental illness!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for commenting. I wish I had more space to write about Cynthia, she’s quite a fascinating character. Another time I suppose. =)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. draliman says:

        She seems to be doing more good than the therapists…

        Liked by 1 person

  12. ceayr says:

    Sensitive treatment of a difficult topic, Brenda

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, CE! =)

      Like

  13. Sandra says:

    So nicely told, and proof, if it were needed, that the first step in mental health healing is to believe in yourself. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We all need a plan for our own mental well-being and it does involve belief in ourselves. Thank you so much for commenting, Sandra!

      Like

  14. Oh the abuse we endure, in our own heads. Really powerful story, Brenda.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Dawn! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Jelli says:

    Self abuse.. the worst kind there is. Glad to see she got rid of the culprit… now, she can heal! Great story,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Jelli! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Dear Brenda,

    Whether or not Cynthia saw Ralph with physical eyes, she had the right words about letting go and learning to love herself. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Rochelle! Cynthia is a wise one. =)

      Like

  17. I’m glad she finally said the right words! That would be terrifying whether real or not.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It certainly would be. Thank you so much for commenting! =)

      Like

  18. k rawson says:

    Love the twist that Raph was a symptom and not an abuser. Crafty and powerful story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed the twist and thank you so much for commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  19. plaridel says:

    good for her. she had taken the first step towards healing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  20. kislaya says:

    I am glad that she has the support of Cynthia and also with her own determination she was able to banish Ralph! Hope she recovers soon.

    https://evergreenleaf.blogspot.com/2019/02/home.html

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cynthia is quite a character and good for Abigail. Her strength will see her through in the end, or at least I think so. =) Thank you for commenting!

      Like

  21. An insightful story about a victim of violence and how she can mend. Told with sensitivity. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your comment! =)

      Like

  22. Nobbinmaug says:

    This is deep and powerful. I hope Ralph’s out of her life as well as her mind. If only we could get over all our trauma in 100 words.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That certainly would be wonderful. Thank you for commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Ann Coleman says:

    Sometimes, saying that is all it takes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true! Thank you for reading and commenting, Ann.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Alice Audrey says:

    The mind is a powerful thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is amazingly so, Alice. Thank you for reading and commenting! =)

      Like

  25. lisarey1990 says:

    This is incredibly powerful writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a nice comment, thank you so much, Lisa! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Hopefully now she can heal. Extremely well-written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Sascha. I hope so too! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  27. The trauma of mental illness and the effects on all. I felt for little Cynthia; innocent yet vulnerable. Sensitively written, Brenda. So much said in so few words…
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  28. gahlearner says:

    At first I thought Cynthia was Abigail’s sister, now I wonder if she is her alter ego. I do hope Ralph and all the other demons stay away forever. Powerful story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I’ll let you know which way the characters develop as I lengthen the story. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  29. granonine says:

    Sometimes, you really do have to stand up to the bully.

    This is a wonderful story, well-written and full of impact. Great job.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even if that bully is in your mind. I really appreciate your kind and encouraging comments! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  30. I love how you went inside and tried to find he madness… and the right cure for her. No more bruises now

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you much, Bjorn. She has more work to do but no more bruises. =)

      Like

  31. The power of words and belief. She finally won out, nicely told

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Michael! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  32. Laurie Bell says:

    Fabulous. Indeed she does not deserve it

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Laurie. =)

      Like

  33. Create Space says:

    Captivating Brenda, you continue to say so much with so little!

    Like

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