Skipping along the stone street, I glance behind me. My mama and papa smile at me and my heart soars. A little boy dressed in tattered clothes sits on the curb in front of my house. He opens his mouth and screams.
I frantically look toward my parents, who fade away as I jolt awake.
Luotian cries in the bed next to mine. I race to calm him before the warden hears. She wields a heavy hand on any child who disturbs her slumber.
All quiet, I squeeze the well-worn postcard and whisper into the dark.
“Let me go back.”
~~
This piece is my contribution to “Friday Fictioneers,” a weekly writing challenge hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff Fields. With the help of a photo prompt to inspire, we are to write a 100-word story. This week’s “dreamy” photo was taken by Roger Bultot.
If you would like to join in with this encouraging group of writers or read their stories from this week, click HERE.
There’s a lovely sense of character here
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks much for this comment, Neil! It makes me happy you resonated with the character.
LikeLike
Brilliant take on the prompt. And such a tender story..
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a nice comment. Thanks so much, Violet! =)
LikeLike
Love it Brenda, very gripping!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Marie. I’m happy you enjoyed it! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Helping others despite her own circumstances. Lovely story!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I’ve been astounded at how many times I’ve seen just that over the years.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can sense her desperation to get away, or back. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Iain. I’m glad that came through.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such sadness. Beautiful writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Linda!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The dream is written perfectly with its happiness turning bad just when it feels best, and what a fate to wake up to such a sad reality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your kind comment. I’m glad the story came across as I intended it too. That doesn’t always happen.
LikeLike
Dear Brenda,
So much heartache and backstory in her dream alone. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
An orphan’s dream and prayer. Thank you for your lovely comments throughout my time with FF, Rochelle. I appreciate you so much! Seven years is a long time and I hope to be writing these pieces for at least as long. You’re right, they are so much fun and highly addictive, especially with the encouragement of other writers. =)
LikeLike
Beautifully done, Brenda. You definitely have a knack for creating evocative stories.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Dale, for your encouraging comment. I’m smiling!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad! 😊
LikeLike
Beautiful story, Brenda. There are people like your MC who always find it within themselves to care for others in every circumstance.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so glad that is true. Thank you for your lovely comment!
LikeLike
This is such an evocative story, Brenda. I like the character. Although she’s in such a die situation, she gave comfort to someone else. I hope things turn out well for her. The transition from the happy memories in the dream to waking up to the harsh reality was beautifully written.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your comment. Actually, I must say the inspiration for the story is a little girl (actually a little boy … hehe) I once knew who lived in one such institution and he was indeed adopted by a couple from France. =)
LikeLike
If only we could go back when things go so terribly wrong.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It would be nice … many times I’ve dreamed of a re-do.
LikeLike
Brenda, you really captured the dreamy feel to this picture; it looks more like a dream than reality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Dawn. I’m happy the dreamy feel came across.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s such a feeling of want and despair in this story. Well done.
LikeLike
I’m glad the feeling of the story came through. Thank you so much for your nice comment, Alicia.
LikeLike
A beautifully paced story – the peaceful dream turning sour, and the waking to a real nightmare. And I love the idea of the postcard being his only link with his home or parents. So sad.
LikeLike
Thank you for your encouraging comments on the pacing, Margaret. I’m glad feeling and meaning of the story came through.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Poor kid. You captured her angst brilliantly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Russell. =)
LikeLike
Sometimes dreams are much better than reality. Great capture of emotion.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your encouraging comment, Tannille! The character’s dreams are certainly better than reality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a heartbreaking contrast from dream to reality.
LikeLike
It really is heartbreaking. Thank you for reading and ccommenting!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! This was well-crafted. You conveyed a lot about this poor child’s life in only 100 words.
LikeLike
Thank you so much for your encouragement! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Scary story!
LikeLike
Scary and said. Thank you for commenting, Dawn! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I enjoyed reading Waiting and thought I would read a few more of your stories. I am impressed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Ted, for those encouraging words. I’m so glad you enjoyed the stories you read. =)
LikeLike