Escape

Skipping along the stone street, I glance behind me.  My mama and papa smile at me and my heart soars.  A little boy dressed in tattered clothes sits on the curb in front of my house.  He opens his mouth and screams.

I frantically look toward my parents, who fade away as I jolt awake.

Luotian cries in the bed next to mine.  I race to calm him before the warden hears. She wields a heavy hand on any child who disturbs her slumber.

All quiet, I squeeze the well-worn postcard and whisper into the dark.

“Let me go back.”

~~

This piece is my contribution to “Friday Fictioneers,” a weekly writing challenge hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff Fields.  With the help of a photo prompt to inspire, we are to write a 100-word story.  This week’s “dreamy” photo was taken by Roger Bultot.

If you would like to join in with this encouraging group of writers or read their stories from this week, click HERE.

43 Comments Add yours

  1. neilmacdon says:

    There’s a lovely sense of character here

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks much for this comment, Neil! It makes me happy you resonated with the character.

      Like

  2. Violet Lentz says:

    Brilliant take on the prompt. And such a tender story..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a nice comment. Thanks so much, Violet! =)

      Like

  3. Create Space says:

    Love it Brenda, very gripping!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Marie. I’m happy you enjoyed it! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. draliman says:

    Helping others despite her own circumstances. Lovely story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’ve been astounded at how many times I’ve seen just that over the years.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Iain Kelly says:

    I can sense her desperation to get away, or back. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Iain. I’m glad that came through.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. granonine says:

    Such sadness. Beautiful writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Linda!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. gahlearner says:

    The dream is written perfectly with its happiness turning bad just when it feels best, and what a fate to wake up to such a sad reality.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind comment. I’m glad the story came across as I intended it too. That doesn’t always happen.

      Like

  8. Dear Brenda,

    So much heartache and backstory in her dream alone. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. An orphan’s dream and prayer. Thank you for your lovely comments throughout my time with FF, Rochelle. I appreciate you so much! Seven years is a long time and I hope to be writing these pieces for at least as long. You’re right, they are so much fun and highly addictive, especially with the encouragement of other writers. =)

      Like

  9. Dale says:

    Beautifully done, Brenda. You definitely have a knack for creating evocative stories.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Dale, for your encouraging comment. I’m smiling!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale says:

        So glad! 😊

        Like

  10. notestowomen says:

    Beautiful story, Brenda. There are people like your MC who always find it within themselves to care for others in every circumstance.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad that is true. Thank you for your lovely comment!

      Like

  11. aheartforafrica641064503 says:

    This is such an evocative story, Brenda. I like the character. Although she’s in such a die situation, she gave comfort to someone else. I hope things turn out well for her. The transition from the happy memories in the dream to waking up to the harsh reality was beautifully written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your comment. Actually, I must say the inspiration for the story is a little girl (actually a little boy … hehe) I once knew who lived in one such institution and he was indeed adopted by a couple from France. =)

      Like

  12. Alice Audrey says:

    If only we could go back when things go so terribly wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It would be nice … many times I’ve dreamed of a re-do.

      Like

  13. Brenda, you really captured the dreamy feel to this picture; it looks more like a dream than reality.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Dawn. I’m happy the dreamy feel came across.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. There’s such a feeling of want and despair in this story. Well done.

    Like

    1. I’m glad the feeling of the story came through. Thank you so much for your nice comment, Alicia.

      Like

  15. Margaret says:

    A beautifully paced story – the peaceful dream turning sour, and the waking to a real nightmare. And I love the idea of the postcard being his only link with his home or parents. So sad.

    Like

    1. Thank you for your encouraging comments on the pacing, Margaret. I’m glad feeling and meaning of the story came through.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Poor kid. You captured her angst brilliantly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Russell. =)

      Like

  17. Tannille says:

    Sometimes dreams are much better than reality. Great capture of emotion.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your encouraging comment, Tannille! The character’s dreams are certainly better than reality.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Such a heartbreaking contrast from dream to reality.

    Like

    1. It really is heartbreaking. Thank you for reading and ccommenting!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Nobbinmaug says:

    Wow! This was well-crafted. You conveyed a lot about this poor child’s life in only 100 words.

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement! =)

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Scary and said. Thank you for commenting, Dawn! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  20. tedstrutz says:

    I enjoyed reading Waiting and thought I would read a few more of your stories. I am impressed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Ted, for those encouraging words. I’m so glad you enjoyed the stories you read. =)

      Like

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