Pass Over

Shaking snow from his boots, Joseph took his place behind the counter.

Francine waited for him.  “It’s time to leave.”

Joseph sighed, they’d had this conversation before.  After their children left for another kind of life, they poured their lives into the shop.  The customers were their neighbors and friends.  But, they were all gone now.

A couple entered the lopsided front door, waving away the dust in the air.

The woman said, “Yep, demolition ball.  No one’s used this space for years.”

A deafening shriek cracked the air.

“Calm down, Joseph, I told you it was time to go.”

~~

This piece is my contribution to “Friday Fictioneers,” a weekly challenge hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff Fields.  With the help of a photo prompt to inspire, we are to write a 100-word story.  This week’s intriguing photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

If you would like to join in with this encouraging group of writers or read their stories from this week, click HERE.

59 Comments Add yours

  1. Violet Lentz says:

    Excellent twist!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy you enjoyed the twist. Thanks so much, Violet! =)

      Like

  2. neilmacdon says:

    Oh ghosts! I didn’t see that coming

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you didn’t see it coming, I was going for the surprise ending. =)

      Like

  3. athling2001 says:

    Ah, what a twist. So well done. Sometimes, we all have trouble letting go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Letting go is indeed difficult. Thank you for reading and your encouraging comment! =)

      Like

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    A subtle ghost story, I liked it. well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m very glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much, Iain! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Alice Audrey says:

    Way pat time to go, if you ask me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, indeed, way past the time to go. Francine has been waiting for a long time. Thank you for commenting! =)

      Like

  6. trentpmcd says:

    Yep, I guess they should have gone a long time ago…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They should have, but change is hard, even for ghosts. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Great story. Really evocative.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very encouraging! Thanks so much. =)

      Like

  8. Create Space says:

    A beautiful ghostly story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Marie. It didn’t start as a ghost story but morphed into one. I’m happy you enjoyed it. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Ah, I wasn’t sure until I read some of the comments. (Sorry, being a bit slow tonight.)

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, it’s not so clear. I’m glad though you took the time to figure out the direction the story took. Thanks!! =)

      Like

  10. Great minds think alike!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly … I like the “great minds” thing (haha).

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Dear Brenda,

    They certainly are dedicated ghosts, aren’t they? Nice twist. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Especially Joseph, he just couldn’t give it up until he had to. Thanks so much!! =)

      Like

  12. granonine says:

    Ah, the final end to their business. Always sad to see a building come down, even for the ghosts are there to watch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Held on until the very end. I agree, I always find It is sad when old buildings are torn down. Especially ones with lots of history. Thanks for commenting, Linda! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  13. ceayr says:

    I didn’t know that ghosts got snow on their boots!
    Cool tale, Brenda

    Like

    1. Oops … great catch. (haha) Started the story with Francine as the ghost and Joseph not. Edit after edit and voila, they are both ghosts. But, hey, it’s fiction. I suppose ghosts could have snow on their boots too! =)

      Like

  14. Jade Li says:

    You packed a lot of story into 100 words. Such a sad story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank so much for your kind comment, Jade. Change is never easy.

      Like

  15. Ann Coleman says:

    What a great twist! I loved this, Brenda!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed the story, Ann!! =)

      Like

  16. Tannille says:

    The end of an era. At least they have each other.

    Like

    1. So, this is where I should have responded (haha). Not on your response to my comment … heavy sigh. Sorry again!

      They do have each other and that’s what counts. =)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tannille says:

        They really make it easy to have mishaps like that! Hehe.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. A great ending twist, Brenda. I didn’t expect it. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you didn’t expect it and hope it made sense. I love a good twist and am always trying for one. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Tien Skye says:

    I love that twist! And the patience of the wife even after death! What a wild ride from the beginning to the end

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for your lovely comments! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Dale says:

    Guess they will have to find another place to haunt. Sad they must leave this one 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It will be harder for Joseph than Francine. She wanted to leave a long time ago. =)

      Like

      1. Dale says:

        Then she should have….

        Liked by 1 person

  20. draliman says:

    Well past time, I’d say 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was hard to let go for sure. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  21. plaridel says:

    all things considered, i guess it was the right time for him to go too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was time, especially as the building was being torn down. I always find it sad when old buildings are torn down to make way for the new.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Abhijit Ray says:

    Joseph and Francine were long dead. Whose shriek was it then?

    Like

    1. It was Joseph’s shriek. He is a ghost and was horrified to find out that the building was going to be torn down. Francine tells him to calm down and it’s time to go. Thank you for reading and for commenting, Abhijit! =)

      Like

  23. gahlearner says:

    They’ll have to look for another haunt. Fun story, though sad for the ghosts. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Especially Joseph. They’ll be fine one they’re resettled. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Margaret says:

    Great ending. I wasn’t expecting it. Sad, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Margaret. The one-hundred word makes it difficult to round things up and create an interesting ending (hehe).

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Many cultures have practices of greeting and ‘informing’ any spirits inhabiting abandoned sites, to give them time to leave. I guess Joseph wouldn’t have gotten such a fright when the wrecking ball showed up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s right, it would have eased the shock maybe. But, he was quite determined to stay until he couldn’t … =)

      Like

  26. michael1148humphris says:

    I wonder if the wreaking ball swerved as it approached them, 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think Joseph will finally leave with Francine before the wrecking ball swings. =)

      Like

  27. Very clever! They “poured their lives” into this! Love it. I did see this coming, but as you know, that’s because great minds think alike! 😉 Really well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For sure, Dawn, great minds! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. =)

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Dawn!

      Liked by 1 person

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