I waited all day for delivery. The package landed on my porch late in the afternoon. I watched from inside. A man and a woman pulled up shortly after the truck sped away.
They looked this way and that before strolling to the house as if they belonged.
He picked up the package first. The voltage made him tremble. She saw it for what it was–an ambush–and ran for the car.
I looked this way and that before dragging his body inside. Pick-up was arranged for after dark.
It felt good. One less porch pirate working my territory.
~~
This story is my contribution to “Friday Fictioneers,” a weekly challenge hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff Fields. With the help of a photo prompt to inspire, we’re to write a 100-word story. The photo this week was provided by Jean L. Hays.
If you would like to join in with this encouraging group of writers or read their stories from this week, visit here.
Is porch pirate a thing? Or did you make it up? If so, congratulations
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No, I’m afraid I can’t take credit for it. My dad used to wait anxiously at his front door when he ordered online, afraid someone would steal his package when it was delivered. Someone told me those someones were called “porch pirates.” I looked it up and the term’s been around awhile it seems.
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It is, sadly, Neil…
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Yep, sadly unfortunate Americanism for parts of America anyway.
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Very good story, Brenda. The competitive spirit lives in all arenas.
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It sure does! Thanks so much, Jade.
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You’re very welcome, Brenda.
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Porch pirates 🙂 Love the phrase. I guess with deliveries on the rise, this would be lucrative career 🙂
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Unfortunately so. Thanks for stopping by. =)
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Most especially around Christmas. Some teams follow FedEx, or Purolator trucks, and un-deliver just as fast. 😛
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Growl … that’s terrible!
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Goodness me!
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I’m always nervous about having my package left in a ‘safe place’ – ie, in full view! I still do it though! An excellent little story.
Here’s mine!
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As you should be, just in case. Thank you for the kind comment, Keith!
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Love the term ‘porch pirate’. Reminded me of the time I lived in a house where the front door opened directly onto the street pavement. A well known retail outlet used a delivery service whose favourite trick was to simply hang the parcel on the doorknob or on the step, ring the bell and drive away. If I didn’t get there immediately some helpful soul passing by only inches away would make off with it. Your solution sounds very effective.
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Oy, that’s terrible. With innovation you have those who seek to profit in not so lovely ways. Thanks, Sandra. =)
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Like Neil, I’d never heard the expression before. It’s a pretty scummy kind of theft, isn’t it? I rather like your solution – Fry ’em, don’t try ’em!
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It certainly is a slimy kind of theft and unfortunately happens way to often. I’m so glad you like my solution. (haha)
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They’ll quickly learn not to steal from that porch again!
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I think the word will spread! =)
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It certainly is a tempting thought. Nice job!
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Thanks so much, Dan. I saw this video on Youtube … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo … about a glitter bomb for package thieves. That’s probably a better idea. =)
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Haha – that would work, too.
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While I don’t know that I’d ever get the urge to move from thought to action, I’m sure many can appreciate the feeling and the fantasy! Having been at the ‘non-receiving end’ of packages that were stolen (some of them with fascinating sequence of events for another story), I can relate to the rage and injustice and frustration. Well done on this one.
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I’m very sorry to hear that, Na’ama. I do hope you include the details in a story or two someday. Thanks for your kind comment on the story!
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🙂
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Well done, Brenda! The porch pirates are on the rise – and more and more people are getting those cameras for their doors as a result. Your solution is quite effective, admittedly…
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Thanks much, Dale! I’ve heard from friends and family that they are nervous about their packages and have to be vigilant in watching for their delivery. Anyway, my solution is a little extreme, but, hey, it’s fiction (haha).
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Just a “tad”
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This is a bit extreme, but I am sure it is a deterrent. Very good one!
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Yeah, as I was saying to Dale, I know it’s extreme, but that’s the beauty of fiction (haha). Thanks so much for stopping by! =)
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Dear Brenda,
When I was a kid, MAD Magazine used to include a picture toward the back of it entitled “Scenes We’d Like to See.” Your story qualifies. I’m only sorry the woman got away. 😉 Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh my goodness, I remember MAD Magazine well and thanks so much for including my story in the “Scenes We’d Like to See!” =) Hopefully, his accomplice will get caught soon. Take care, Rochelle!
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I think about this every now and then. Luckily we live pretty far off the beaten track down a tiny hill no one wants to travel. On the other hand, that might be the perfect spot. Well done!!!
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Thanks so much, Alicia. Hey, I like your thinking. Isolated area … set out some bait. A less … well extreme version of payback could be in the form of a glitter bomb box. I mentioned it above to Dan and you can see it (if you want) at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo. Made me laugh!
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I’ve seen that and it made me laugh! Have you seen the “squirrel run” he made? I don’t know how to find it but it’s a doozy.
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I just watched his “Building the Perfect Squirrel Proof Bird Feeder.” He’s hilarious … and has a lot of time on his hands (haha)!!
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There’s nothing like 10,000 volts to discourage even the most ardent thief! She seems to have a “disposal” procedure in place too, thought of everything 🙂
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Yes, she does have an accomplice. Pretty smart, ey? =)
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This appealed to my bad person side – I laughed. Porch pirate indeed. Great stuff.
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Thank you T! I am very happy to make you laugh. =)
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sounds a bit extreme, but who can blame her?
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That’s right!!
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Well, that’s one way to discourage porch pirates!
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A little harsh, I know, but that’s the beauty of fiction. (haha) Plus, and only one person picked up on it, the main character is also a porch pirate. That’s why I said one less in my territory. Oh well, I always enjoy seeing how each reader interprets a story. =) Thank you so much for commenting as always!
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Yes, that is the good part of fiction: to see how your readers react. I didn’t get that part about the main character also being a porch pirate, but now that you said it, it’s so obvious! All I can say is that I read your post at the end of a busy day, so maybe my mind was a bit slower on the uptake than usual….and that’s saying something!
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No, never, it was in the writing. Some times it works and other times … =) Take care!
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This was an awesome story! I love “porch pirates” and the trap. Brilliant! Don’t tell anybody else, but this is my favorite story of the week.
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Well, isn’t that nice! I’m so happy you enjoyed. =)
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Oh those notorious porch pirates. They got it this time. One less porch pirate! Good story Brenda.
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Thanks so much for your kind comment! Those porch pirates are quite annoying aren’t they?
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Whoa. I would definitely put up a white flag and sail away too. =D Too funny. For some reason, I have the Jaws theme in my head. Porch sharks circling the waters, waiting…
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Very apropos … love the Jaws theme!!
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I have heard of people having their packages taken from their porches and as a result many have set up cameras at the front. Well, this is one way of dealing with porch pirates.
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It’s sad but the cameras don’t seem to make a lot of difference. It’s a fast growing problem. Thanks for stopping by.
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I like the term ‘Porch Pirate’ – describes it well. Great take on the photo prompt, Brenda!
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Thanks so much, Susan! =)
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