Lily’s father placed a basket amongst the tall reeds beside the river. Lily felt her mother’s hand holding onto hers as she watched the tiny lights dance along the river.
“Why so many, father?”
“Each light is the soul of a warrior who gave their life protecting us. They travel to their final rest at the end of the river.”
Her mother gently withdrew her hand. She evaporated into mist and filled the basket with a golden glow. Lily’s father wept. He pushed the basket away from shore.
Lily prayed into the breeze, “Keep mother safe on her journey home.”
~~
“Friday Fictioneers” is a weekly challenge hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff Fields. The challenge is to write a story, using only 100 words in response to a photo prompt. This week’s beautiful photo was provided by Carla Bicomong. It has been a lot of fun to join this fantastic and encouraging group of writers! For more stories, click HERE.
Thoughts of a Wanderer 
Interesting the way we construct rituals
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very true, they do bring comfort especially at times of loss.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! Heart tug with the momma – could feel
The hand coming back after sending off that candle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Could you tell her mama was one of the warriors whose soul was being sent to the resting place? I wasn’t sure if that was clear. Thank you as always for your encouraging comments. =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
IT WAS COMPLETELY clear.
and sorry if i did not mention it better.
That is what made me smile.
The gender role surprise was a nice twist cos too often we do think of men warriors and so I guess i was thinking of males and that was nice for the female part (different but equal)
but another – more special – element was the mom –
and the child with dad and the honoring her –
and the resilience felt in them as opposed to victim – and then the society aspect – togetherness – not lighting candles alone in their private ceremony – but the societal part.
should I share some more… ha ha
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so so much for sharing this, it was greatly encouraging. In the meantime, I felt a bit insecure (my own doubting voice) so I changed the story … haha. If you have a moment, please read it. Thank you again! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
you changed it?
well I will go and read – and just a suggestion – but if you change it again – leave the original and do an author update so we can compare and grow with you as you churn and edit.
I have a few that I have changed – and a couple that I should have updated (improved) but ran out of time and had to let it be – but we do grow and improve by editing so i am all for your change – but now will check for content –
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ll definitely do that the next time, leave the original and do an update. Thanks!! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
well see if it works for you – right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
We do seem to need some kind of act or ritual to gain that sense of closure. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We do indeed, Linda. Thank you for reading and commenting! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not quite sure I understand the storyline. Lily has been holding her mother’s hand, and then she prays for the soul of ‘Mama’ as the basket drifts away. It’s a powerful image, though.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, Penny. You’re right, as I re-read the story is confusing. So … I rewrote it. If you have a minute, could you read and comment. Let me know what you think! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Much, much better. Clearer and more moving. You’ve made the whole story more vivid. Good work!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad you like it. Thank you so much for reading it again and commenting! =)
LikeLike
Sad but endearing too.
The picture seems to evoke deep thoughts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The photo this week does indeed seem to. Thank you for commenting! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautifully done, Brenda. I completely saw that her mother was one of the warriors being sent off to rest (then again, I didn’t read the original version 😉 )
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, Dale, and happy you saw her mother as one of the warriors. Next time, I’ll leave the original. (haha) Hope you have a wonderful weekend! =)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Right back at ya!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the first one way better – this one felt a little ambiguous – to me – and even knowing the story a bit I was a little confused – still good – but the first was better (IMHO)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your honest opinion, much appreciated!! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
and side note – I might come and ask you for an opinion the next time one of my FF has me pondering. I know we are all open for feedback and this is a common reason why some psot (not all) but it is nice to sometimes have someone to ask directly
LikeLike
Sad about mother but a lovely way to send her off.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A lovely way indeed as the community gathered to honor and send their loved ones on. Thanks for commenting!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent, loved the imagery of the mother and the fact she was a warrior who sacrificed herself. Well done Brenda
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so glad you enjoyed the imagery. Thanks so much, Iain!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely sad story – good that her mother was the warrior and that her father was left to care for the child.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Liz!
LikeLike
Very nice and touching story of a little girl praying for her mother.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for reading and commenting! =)
LikeLike
I liked the way you had the mother turn to mist. The cold hand made it clear all was not well with her.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wanted her presence as one of the warriors who sacrificed her life to be realized. I had fun this week, receiving constructive feedback. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting! =)
LikeLike
Very interesting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Lisa! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rituals help preserve sanity in those who are left. Structured acts seem to comfort us in the way they give form in a disorderly world. An interesting and moving take on the picture.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very true and well said. Thanks so much, Jilly, for your comments!!
LikeLike
Dear Brenda,
I love this story. Ethereal and poignant at the same time. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Rochelle, for your encouraging comments as always! =)
LikeLike
Really touching!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for reading and for your comment! =)
LikeLike
I like the delicacy and gentleness of tone you create, fits the subject so well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a very kind comment, thanks so much. =)
LikeLike
I loved Lilly’s prayer at the end. Nice closure for the loss of her mother.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Prayer is indeed a comfort. Thank you for reading! =)
LikeLike
I loved the twist in the middle of your story–that her mother had died. That she died in battle was even more interesting!
LikeLike
Thank you, Jan, I’m so glad you enjoyed the story. =)
LikeLike
This is moving and beautiful. The dead mother’s ghostly touch and being sent off as a warrior was clear to me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your lovely comment! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, my gosh, this was so beautiful! Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really appreciate you saying so, Ann. Thanks so much! =)
LikeLiked by 1 person