Resting Place

Lily’s father placed a basket amongst the grass beside the river.  Lily felt her mother’s hand holding onto hers.  The lights danced along the river.

“Why so many, father?”

“Each light is the soul of a warrior who gave their life. They are making their way to their final rest at the end of the river.”

Her mother gently withdrew her cold hand as her spirit turned to mist.  It filled the basket with a golden glow.  Lily’s father wept as he pushed the basket away from the shore.

Lily prayed into the breeze, “Keep mother safe on her journey.”

~~

“Friday Fictioneers” is a weekly challenge hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff Fields.  The challenge is to write a story, using only 100 words in response to a photo prompt.  This week’s beautiful photo was provided by Carla Bicomong. It has been a lot of fun to join this fantastic and encouraging group of writers!  For more stories, click HERE.

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52 Comments Add yours

  1. neilmacdon says:

    Interesting the way we construct rituals

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true, they do bring comfort especially at times of loss.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. prior.. says:

    Yes! Heart tug with the momma – could feel
    The hand coming back after sending off that candle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Could you tell her mama was one of the warriors whose soul was being sent to the resting place? I wasn’t sure if that was clear. Thank you as always for your encouraging comments. =)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. prior.. says:

        IT WAS COMPLETELY clear.
        and sorry if i did not mention it better.
        That is what made me smile.
        The gender role surprise was a nice twist cos too often we do think of men warriors and so I guess i was thinking of males and that was nice for the female part (different but equal)
        but another – more special – element was the mom –
        and the child with dad and the honoring her –
        and the resilience felt in them as opposed to victim – and then the society aspect – togetherness – not lighting candles alone in their private ceremony – but the societal part.
        should I share some more… ha ha
        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so so much for sharing this, it was greatly encouraging. In the meantime, I felt a bit insecure (my own doubting voice) so I changed the story … haha. If you have a moment, please read it. Thank you again! =)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. prior.. says:

        you changed it?
        well I will go and read – and just a suggestion – but if you change it again – leave the original and do an author update so we can compare and grow with you as you churn and edit.
        I have a few that I have changed – and a couple that I should have updated (improved) but ran out of time and had to let it be – but we do grow and improve by editing so i am all for your change – but now will check for content –

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I’ll definitely do that the next time, leave the original and do an update. Thanks!! =)

        Liked by 1 person

      5. prior.. says:

        well see if it works for you – right?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. granonine says:

    We do seem to need some kind of act or ritual to gain that sense of closure. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We do indeed, Linda. Thank you for reading and commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. pennygadd51 says:

    I’m not quite sure I understand the storyline. Lily has been holding her mother’s hand, and then she prays for the soul of ‘Mama’ as the basket drifts away. It’s a powerful image, though.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Penny. You’re right, as I re-read the story is confusing. So … I rewrote it. If you have a minute, could you read and comment. Let me know what you think! =)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. pennygadd51 says:

        Much, much better. Clearer and more moving. You’ve made the whole story more vivid. Good work!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. So glad you like it. Thank you so much for reading it again and commenting! =)

        Like

  5. Sad but endearing too.
    The picture seems to evoke deep thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The photo this week does indeed seem to. Thank you for commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Dale says:

    Beautifully done, Brenda. I completely saw that her mother was one of the warriors being sent off to rest (then again, I didn’t read the original version 😉 )

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Dale, and happy you saw her mother as one of the warriors. Next time, I’ll leave the original. (haha) Hope you have a wonderful weekend! =)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Dale says:

        Right back at ya!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. prior.. says:

    I like the first one way better – this one felt a little ambiguous – to me – and even knowing the story a bit I was a little confused – still good – but the first was better (IMHO)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your honest opinion, much appreciated!! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  8. prior.. says:

    and side note – I might come and ask you for an opinion the next time one of my FF has me pondering. I know we are all open for feedback and this is a common reason why some psot (not all) but it is nice to sometimes have someone to ask directly

    Like

  9. draliman says:

    Sad about mother but a lovely way to send her off.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A lovely way indeed as the community gathered to honor and send their loved ones on. Thanks for commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Iain Kelly says:

    Excellent, loved the imagery of the mother and the fact she was a warrior who sacrificed herself. Well done Brenda

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed the imagery. Thanks so much, Iain!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Liz Young says:

    Lovely sad story – good that her mother was the warrior and that her father was left to care for the child.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. abhiray59 says:

    Very nice and touching story of a little girl praying for her mother.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting! =)

      Like

  13. 4963andypop says:

    I liked the way you had the mother turn to mist. The cold hand made it clear all was not well with her.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wanted her presence as one of the warriors who sacrificed her life to be realized. I had fun this week, receiving constructive feedback. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting! =)

      Like

  14. jillyfunnell says:

    Rituals help preserve sanity in those who are left. Structured acts seem to comfort us in the way they give form in a disorderly world. An interesting and moving take on the picture.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true and well said. Thanks so much, Jilly, for your comments!!

      Like

  15. Dear Brenda,

    I love this story. Ethereal and poignant at the same time. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Rochelle, for your encouraging comments as always! =)

      Like

  16. abhiray59 says:

    Really touching!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading and for your comment! =)

      Like

  17. I like the delicacy and gentleness of tone you create, fits the subject so well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a very kind comment, thanks so much. =)

      Like

  18. I loved Lilly’s prayer at the end. Nice closure for the loss of her mother.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Prayer is indeed a comfort. Thank you for reading! =)

      Like

  19. Jan Morrill says:

    I loved the twist in the middle of your story–that her mother had died. That she died in battle was even more interesting!

    Like

    1. Thank you, Jan, I’m so glad you enjoyed the story. =)

      Like

  20. gahlearner says:

    This is moving and beautiful. The dead mother’s ghostly touch and being sent off as a warrior was clear to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Ann Coleman says:

    Oh, my gosh, this was so beautiful! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really appreciate you saying so, Ann. Thanks so much! =)

      Liked by 1 person

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