Waiting

I need to make my move before someone calls the police.  Each day, I wait and watch her enter and exit the synagogue.  I can’t believe how beautiful she is.  Her silky hair shimmers in the sun and she bounces as she walks.  I dash behind an SUV as a car passes by.

My opportunity finally arrives.  There is no one around to notice.  Coming up behind her, I hesitate and she turns.  There are tears in her eyes and something else.  Something unexpected.

Forgiveness?

She smiles. “I’ve been waiting a long time, mom, for you to cross the street.”

~~

This piece is my contribution to “Friday Fictioneers,” a weekly challenge hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff Fields.  With the help of a photo prompt to inspire, we are to write a 100-word story.  This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

If you would like to join in with this encouraging group of writers or read their stories from this week, click HERE.

 

49 Comments Add yours

  1. Oh Brenda,

    What a wonderful twist at the end. You had me expecting a crazed stalker. Beautifully done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Rochelle. That’s exactly what my daughter said. The “crazed stalker” part. =)

      Like

  2. Iain Kelly says:

    Excellent Brenda, the reveal caught me out – unexpected but in the end just right. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Iain, for your encouraging comment! I’m so happy you enjoyed it. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. neilmacdon says:

    Very clever misdirection

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Neil! I thought I’d go a different direction with my misdirection. =)

      Like

  4. Sandra says:

    A skilful piece of misdirection, and a sweet ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Sandra, for your encouraging comment! I thought I’d go a different way with a happy ending this week. =)

      Like

  5. granonine says:

    You really had us fooled 🙂 What a wonderful twist, unexpected and sweet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed. Thanks so much, Linda! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. ceayr says:

    Yes, Brenda, I love it.
    Led us all up the garden path, and then instead of the punch we got a kiss!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, that makes me happy, that you loved it!! Thanks so much. =)

      Like

  7. This is a beautiful story and a nice twist on what the setup seems to be leading to. Nice job.
    -David

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, David, for your kind comments! =)

      Like

  8. gahlearner says:

    What everyone else said. 🙂 Sweet story, and a great, unexpected twist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the encouragement! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  9. LucciaGray says:

    Great flash! A fabulous moment mother and daughter meeting after a long time and forgiving each other. Intriguing, but touching.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the kind comments, Luccia! =)

      Like

  10. Dale says:

    Wonderfully done, Brenda! Getting us all worked up and worried only to rip the rug from under us. I loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you like it, Dale. Thanks for saying so! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  11. draliman says:

    Phew! I like that the daughter knows her mum’s there but gives her the space to approach in her own time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was a key component to the story. I’m glad you saw that. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Tannille says:

    Haha I was so sure she was going to be abducted.
    Well written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Tannille! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Ann Coleman says:

    What a sweet story! Good job, Brenda!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy you enjoyed the story. Thanks, Ann!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Abhijit Ray says:

    what was the intention? confronting her for going to a synagogue or to rob her? it seems she has disarmed her assailant with a smile.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry it was confusing. The main character is the girl’s mother. She watched her daughter every day, enter and leave the synagogue, from across the street. She was afraid to approach her. In the end, she chose to take a chance and the daughter expressed forgiveness and joy that the mother returned. It was a tricky one, a bit of misdirection. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

      Like

      1. Abhijit Ray says:

        Thank you for explaining.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. A lovely story with a great twist at the end, Brenda. I also thought it was a stalker. Well-written. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Suzanne. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  16. deborahsdeliberations says:

    What a beautiful story, Brenda. I too was expecting something terrible but was pleasantly surprised and relieved by the wonderful twist at the end.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Deborah.

      Like

  17. notestowomen says:

    This is such a lovely story, Brenda with an unexpected but wonderful ending!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for saying so! =)

      Like

  18. This weeks seems to be split between dark and news worthy, and very moving. Yours is really touching and made me cry. That chance to find forgiveness is too often missed. This wasn’t what I expected when I started reading (as you planned, I’m sure), but really moved me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry to make you cry, but I’m glad it moved you. Forgiveness is difficult in our broken world. But, so very important. Hope you have a wonderful week ahead, Dawn, and thank you for your comments!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is indeed, Brenda, and I’m rarely sorry for tears!

        Like

  19. An unexpected ending. Nicely done

    Like

    1. Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. rogershipp says:

    I was thinking… stalker…stalker…stalker…Mom? Great twist!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad it caught you by surprise. Thanks so much, Roger!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. What a wonderful end… I expected something else. Forgiveness is a beautiful way to get a new start.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it is. Thanks for reading and for your nice comment, Bjorn.

      Like

  22. subroto says:

    Wonderful bit of misdirection and a sweet story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! 😊

      Like

  23. Alice Audrey says:

    Mom? That caught me by surprise.

    Like

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