Shadows

They journeyed through the day.

“Are we almost there, father?”

“We will be soon, son.”

As dusk dimmed the sky, a golden ember glowed in the distance.  They headed for the beacon of safety from the dark.  Fire the only weapon against the shadows of the night.  Many days of journey and nights by the fire passed.

“It’s time to take your own path, son,” said the fading voice of the father.

“Make it to the fire each night.  The Keeper will guide you, to the end of your way.”

~~

“Friday Fictioneers,” a weekly challenge to write a story using only 100 words and hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff Fields.  If you would like to read other stories or join in by adding your own take on the photo supplied by Anshu Bhojnagarwala, visit HERE.

62 Comments Add yours

  1. neilmacdon says:

    Lovely. I think it matters less that he knows where he’s going than that he goes

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Neil, for commenting. I had a really hard time with this one, expressing what I wanted to through the story. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. draliman says:

    The eternal wanderers, he passes on his wisdom to his son. Nice one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for you encouraging comment. It’s imperative to pass wisdom along, most importantly how to survive the shadows of the night. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. StuHN says:

    Their own passing of the torch. Where will it take them?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They are moving forward, seeking to survive. Thank you for commenting!

      Like

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    Very moody and dystopian. I fear what will happen if he doesn’t make it to the fire one night…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The story is dystopian and something terrifying lurks in the night. I’m so glad you saw that!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Brenda,

    This has a rather mystical feel as well as dystopian. I like that the fire is a beacon and the idea of the torch being passed from generation to generation. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like the “mystical” feel. Thank you so much, Rochelle, for your encouragement. =)

      Like

    2. And a side note, in one of my initial drafts I wrote, ““To the end of your way and the City of Light” which sounds more mystical. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Margaret says:

    Sad story, but nice that the fire symbolises hope and safety.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting, Margaret! =)

      Like

  7. Sandra says:

    I loved the narrative style in this – it flowed beautifully, and simply. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m very happy that you liked the style and the flow of the story. Thank you so much for your encouragement, Sandra. =)

      Like

  8. To be honest, I was left feeling the story was incomplete (the word limit, and all), and wondering who kept the fire while they wandered on their journey?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, Russell, this one was a tough one for me. I like to write the story and it’s normally a lot longer than the 100 words. Sometimes when I cut the words, it’s nearly not the same story. (haha) Thanks for commenting!

      Liked by 2 people

  9. ceayr says:

    Tale of primeval fear and human courage, potent and atmospheric.
    Love it

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, CE, for the encouraging comment. I’m very glad you enjoyed it!! =)

      Like

  10. The father feels it right to pass on the torch, hope the son is ready for it. I am afraid to know what if the son doesn’t make it to the fire by the night.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I believe he is ready to avoid the terror of the night. Thanks you so much for commenting, Anshu. I like the photo! =)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you Brenda 🙂

        Like

  11. pennygadd51 says:

    Your story made me think of our far distant ancestors and the stories they would have told themselves to survive and make sense of a constantly changing and always hostile – and yet, beautiful – world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s interesting. I like that! I’m not sure why, but Arthur C. Clarke’s quote came to mind. I looked it up and found this variation on wiki … “Any technology, no matter how primitive, is magic to those who don’t understand it.” Thank you for reading and commenting, Penny. =)

      Like

  12. gahlearner says:

    There is so much in your story, wonderful. It’s basically an instruction for moving though life. If we have a safe haven for the night, we can go on.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your nice comment. That’s very true, if we have a safe haven, we can go on. I like that! =)

      Like

  13. James McEwan says:

    I read this as a journey through life, where the helping hand encourages the fledgling to go free and make their own way in the world. I always look for some kind of moral, right or wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Insightful comments, James! It’s true, the father prepares his son for the day he no longers journeys with him. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  14. plaridel says:

    i’m not sure if it his dead father talking. it looks like it to me.

    Like

    1. His father prepared him before he left him alone to survive. Thank you for reading and commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Alice Audrey says:

    A right of passage? Or abandonment?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A right of passage. =)

      Like

  16. I like the quiet sadness and tenderness of your story. Made me think about having to let go of someone you love, and trust they will make their way without you, because you will be gone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your comment. His father didn’t want to leave him, but it was time for the son to journey on without him. I’m glad you like the story! =)

      Like

  17. Joy Pixley says:

    I’m not sure if you meant it this way, but this evoked a dystopian world with supernatural or magical dangers in the shadows, and only the mysterious Keeper and the string of fires — and the perhaps ghostly voice of his father, pushing him onward — standing between this poor soul and a terrible fate. Where is he headed? Is it safe there? Who keeps the fires lit? This has hooked me and made me want to read more!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m very happy you enjoyed the story and want to know more. =) Your summary is exactly what I meant to convey! Thanks so much, Joy!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Joy Pixley says:

        Watch out — I keep writing these little inconsequential flash fiction pieces and they keep turning into novel plans. it’s a real danger! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hmmm … that’s a good idea (the turning it into a novel idea). 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Joy Pixley says:

        I currently have more novel ideas than I could probably ever write, especially if I also write my much longer list of short story and novella ideas. Whew. The last thing I need is more ideas! 🙂

        Like

      4. That’s great. I wish I had that problem (haha). I think I’ll encorporate this idea into my bigger project, add the “shadows” and see how it goes. =)

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Lynn Love says:

    a sad note there, with the father’s voice fading. I hope the son has headed that sage advice well. Keep those fires burning. Great writing Brenda

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Lynn, for your encouragement! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I like the mystery here. It feels post-apocalyptic, but it could also be historical. I like that the reader is left to figure it out. Nice work.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Dawn. I’m so glad you enjoyed the story and it left you wondering. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Wandering through ever present danger but always with the flame to guide them. Great piece

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Michael. It’s good to have a flame to guide you.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Abhijit Ray says:

    It is a never ending journey, passed on from generation to another. All going returning to fire at the end of the day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s right, Abhijit. It’s our duty to pass on guidance to the next generation, especially our children, ways to avoid danger. Thank you for commenting! =)

      Like

  22. This is an amazing take. Father giving all his mental and spiritual possessions to the son. Sure, he will carry on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. At least he has the knowledge to carry on. Thank you so much for commenting! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  23. This is either a very dark future or a stone age past… keep the fire burning…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Either way seems best to you. =) I like it when the reader wonders or puts their own spin to a story. Take care and thanks for commenting, Bjorn!

      Like

  24. lisarey1990 says:

    Beautifully emotive. The atmospheric feel was great too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very nice comment, Lisa. Thanks so much! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Laurie Bell says:

    Intriguing… fire is safety but how you get there is your own journey

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like “intriguing,” Laurie! Thank you for commenting. =)

      Like

  26. granonine says:

    A major task for any good father is to teach his son by example how to follow the Keeper and look for the fire 🙂

    Like

  27. amiewrites74 says:

    This is wonderful. You packed so much into those 100 words. I love that the fire was the safety that they had to reach each night. I also read this as a post-apocalyptic tale, but it has flexibility for a longer piece.

    Like

  28. michael1148humphris says:

    Beautiful and mystical, Lovely to read

    Like

  29. Priya says:

    This is quite an intriguing story. loved it. It has potential. Would love to read a longer version.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am currently working on a big project and am considering incorporating the shadows and the firekeepers into the story. We’ll see … I’m so glad you enjoyed it! =)

      Like

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